Have you noticed how you can actually differentiate between those people whose egos are driving their social media communications?  And those who communicate with a genuine spirit of meaningful connectedness?

The incredible response to social media tells an amazing story about how the social media conversation is satisfying a huge psychological need. Social media is such an extraordinary phenomenon because it fills the primal, psychological, innate need for recognition.  Millions of children, teens and adults have been feeling starved of recognition. The home, school and corporate environments are often not conducive to recognizing others for the unique beings that they are.

Enter Social Media

We can now be recognized by hundreds, thousands, even millions of people for exactly who we are.  We own a little piece of the universe in which we are somebody unique.   That’s the good news.  But there is no good news without a downside which is that people respond to recognition in different ways. Some people take recognition in their stride, they feel humility, and they don’t let it go to their heads; while others develop overinflated egos.

Think of the development and maturation of social media as being the same as the process of metamorphosis from an egg to a butterfly.

Each stage of the metamorphosis gets us closer to that magnificent butterfly.  The first stage for social media has been achieved – it has been adopted by millions and millions more are coming on board.   We have laid the eggs and become caterpillars.  It is now time for us to move to the pupa stage where the body of the caterpillar transforms itself.  The pupa stage for social media is to understand what ‘being connected’ truly means and to learn how to manage our egos so that we can use the power of social media in the best way possible – without abusing it.

Here are a few tips for keeping that ego in check

• Remember that it’s not about how many people follow you or friend you. It’s about connecting with the people who have the same values as you do.
• Select people that belong to what Seth Godin calls your ‘tribe.’
• Don’t fall in love with yourself.  When people sing your praises, remember to accept this with humility.
• Watch carefully for signs that your ego is in the driver’s seat

You can do this by counting how many ‘I’s’ you have written or said.  Or check to see whether you preaching rather than asking or listening.

• Whenever your ego starts to take over, think about how you can improve the way you connect.
• Speak with others rather than to others
• Remember it’s all in your delivery!  Ego will turn others away.  Authenticity will engage them.

What are your thoughts on how social media fame gives people inflated egos?

If you are interested in a presentation about this please contact me for more information.